Well I am pissed off now.

Today I lay on the floor for hours trying to do uni work and also watching Tyra. It was pretty good I guess? But you don't care about that do you, you just want to know who sucks and who doesn't suck! So do I, so let's upload the on demand and get down to business!

Okay so they all miss Amelia and I think that is fair, although she yelled at Lauren once I don't think she is a bad person, she seems pretty cool so I get why they are sad. Sara mail arrives and it is floating in the pool so one of the twins leaps in, fully clothed to get it. It says they need to "shape up or ship out" and this reminds me that it is the mean "are you fat?" episode where they will get tape measured and weighed even maybe...remember last "cycle" when the one who was a mother and wanted to be a lawyer, Teryl-Leigh was told she had a wide ass? Ahh, good memories and good times ahead I hope!

They are all lying around sucking coffee up Tim Tams when Sara arrives with her personal trainer and Dakota thinks he "is the hottest muffin out of the oven".

Holly is all "he is very pretty but my boyfriend is hotter" WE GET IT- AGAINST ALL ODDS YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND! I hate it when girls insist on telling people they have a boyfriend all the time, "DEAR FACEBOOK, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" "DEAR INTERNET: I MISS MY CUDDLE BUDDY". It's like joining that "I love naked cuddles in bed" group on facebook. Gross and unnecessary. Just put a fucking album of 100 couple shots up sew yourself into some giant couple Siamese twin suit and be done with it.

The trainer measures them and pinches their fat and informs Holly that she is 12% fat.

Meanwhile Dakota is busy wooing the trainer "I think he put a mirror in his pants cos I see me in his pants". Ummmm....

She gets all excited when he tape measures her bust and is all "so, does your girlfriend know that you are working with all these models?" and he's all "yeah, she doesn't care. She's a model". Shame! also IS HE TALKING ABOUT SARA TETRO? no I think not but still. That could be exciting!

Eva is 15% body fat and Laura is 13%. Elza and Nellie are 13.40 and 13.36 fat. Then the trainer does star jumps with them and leaves. That was a bit anti climatic.

They celebrate the trainer leaving by making nachos. Yum.

Courtenay, queen of understatements, says that there is tension between Holly and everyone "because Holly is a tad bossy"
Elza or Nellie predict "a big fight brewing". OH GOD I HOPE SO! A DEATHMATCH!

They get Sara mail and go to some place where Colin and someone from Covergirl are waiting. They are told they have to do makeover each other to make a smokey eye using a whole heap of specific products. It is basically an exercise in product placement. Colin almost pees himself about the prize which is a year's supply of Covergirl products. He says he would "skin the winner for that prize and kill the rest of you for the fun of it".


New Zealand's next top super creep


He tells Dakota off for looking like a mess and wonders if she "lives under the house".
Danielle, unsurprisingly, doesn't know what the hell to do with makeup since she has never worn any before. Eva says she did a terrible job on Elza and "looks like I shot her in the face with a paintball gun". I do love her.

Some people aren't happy with their final result



And look who fucking wins again



This is getting ridiculous.



"I won hee hee"

They go home and have a cupcake making competition but Holly doesn't take part because "I am not twelve". NO YOU ARE FUCKING 40 YEARS OLD! She really gets my goat, such a backstabby immature highschooler.

She is all "It is so embarrassing". I really can't stand her. She is so judgemental and mean spirited. And this is coming from someone who is bitching about people on the internet for a hobby.

Then Holly comes in and likes the cupcakes and wants to join in? I don't really get it but maybe now it is not so super embarrassing? I can't keep up with her and her crazy mood swings.

In case you were wondering who won the cupcake competition it was Elza and Nellie. They are pretty psyched.

Anyway, it is photo shoot-o-clock and they are being teamed up to do some kind of double shoot.

Dakota and Danielle were together. This is a pretty accurate shot of how the shoot went:



Meanwhile, Lara and Holly discuss Dakota and Holly has the gall to say that Dakota is "so frigging two-faced". HELLO!? POT? KETTLE? BLACK??

The makeup, hair and costumes for this shoot are really gross. They all look greasy and dirty. And not in a good way. The Covergirl woman insinuates that Holly would make a good stripper and Eva is now boring and crap. NO! EVA I LOVE YOU PLEASE BE GOOD I PROMISE I WILL BE BETTER IF YOU WILL BE GOOD! I WON'T EVER BE MEAN ABOUT HOLLY AGAIN IF YOU STAY!!!! I WILL RETURN MY OVERDUE LIBRARY BOOKS! I WILL PUT THE RECYCLING INTO NICE PILES! I WON'T PUT RUBBISH DOWN THE SINK! I WILL NOT ILLEGALLY DOWNLOAD A SINGLE THING EVER! I WILL EAT STEAMED VEGETABLES FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! maybe.

Elza and Nellie are doing their shoot and they are having a bit of trouble trying to outshine each other because "we are basically the same person. She is me". Man this is weird! "How can anyone outshine Nellie she is so cool!...No you're cool! No you're cooler!".

The bitchy cleaning roster from last week makes a dreaded return and Dakota and Holly have a brief but satisfying fight about the dishes. Dakota is all "F U B I have done the dishes the last three days!" and Holly is all "Well it wasn't your job! You did them when it wasn't your job and so now you do them- DAKOTA YOU ARE ON THE LIST!".

F U B indeed!

Everyone thinks that Holly should be going home but of course Holly thinks Dakota should go because "she is causing tension".

ELIMINATION TIME!

Danielle: No good
Dakota: Looks like a hobo and swears like a thug but good
Lauren: bad.
Courteney: good!
Michaela: Evolving. Has potential.
Eva: A "walking disaster" ARGH! "lost her mojo" NO! "no confidence" FUCK!
Nellie: Not as dynamic as Elza
Elza: Has warmth in her eyes....She is all "we work well as a team because, I guess, we were in the womb together". Awww. I want a womb buddy!

But, is it just me or do they look like vampires?



I like them and all but do they not look slightly....undead? chiseled? kind of like that one from twilight who gets ripped to pieces in the end of the first movie and set on fire?

Lara: Good.
Holly: Looked like she was "squatting on a toilet"

DELIBERATION:

Dakota is suspected of multiple personality disorder. Colin wants to rewire her. In his basement of model limbs and skinned corpses/covergirl products.
Holly is problematic because "you can't change someone's face structure" and she has "a long face and thin lips which don't translate to film". Well yes. That's obvious. But if she doesn't look like a model now then how could she have looked like a model earlier? this show is all about mind games and Colin's hair.

BOTTOM TWO: Lauren and EVA! argh! Not my girl Eva! This is just like the Ruby nightmare of last season all over again!

And eliminated is...

BOTH OF THEM! FUCK THIS SHIT! I want to speak to the manager! I can't believe Eva is eliminated while HOLLY is still there!

I am mad. I am going to bed. GOOD FUCKING NIGHT