So Holly and Danielle are whining about being sick of "living with children who are so sheltered" and have taken it upon themselves to make a cleaning roster. Holly has made herself mistress of the house and has devised punishments which she will mete out should the roster not be adhered to. It must be such a drag being her child.
As you can see, for reasons unknown Holly is allowed to wake people up 30 minutes early if they don't do their jobs. If she tried that with me I would punch her in her very very long face. She is like the horrible flatmate who no one wants to live with and who labels all her food in the fridge.
One of Holly's punishments for people who don't do what she demands of them is that she will "empty the contents of the vacuum box in their bed". What? She is THE WORST.
Courtenay, who is pretty cool, is all "I think Holly's punishments are pretty stupid, she's not the boss of this house!" And she is very, very right. Holly! You suck! You are are fun-sucker and a big old meanie! She tells us she wants someone not to do the jobs so she can unleash her awful bitch self on the house. KICK THIS AWFUL PERSON OFF ALREADY! SHE DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE A MODEL!!! At this point it is pretty obvious that she is being kept around purely for drama reasons because what else does she really have to offer? apart from hen pecking and a sneering stinkface?
Anyway, Sara shows up and she is going to take one polaroid photo of them each and do something with it? Dakota is wearing big hipster glasses?
I would like another hot chocolate...is it greedy to have two hot chocolates in half and hour?????
Anyway! Sara takes one polaroid of them each and then Daniel Carter waltzes into the model house and everyone is all "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGH HOT MAN!". He owns some brand of water or something and he is going to pick one of the photos for something or other. Amelia is all "I've met rugby players before so it's not that big a deal". SMUG SMUG SMUG.
Lara asks him about how he once posed in his underwear and then makes face
Holly is all "I would rate Dan Carter as a 9 and a half but my boyfriend is a 10". SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND? Surely no one would put up with having vacuum rubbish poured in their bed and suffering various corporeal and mental punishments to be with Holly? gah, the world baffles me sometimes.
Daniel Carter gets to pick one of them to be the face of the label or something and he says that one of them stood out- I KNOW WHO IT BETTER NOT BE-
and it is EVA! YES! MY LADY WINS AGAIN!
Take that you guys! (this is saved in my computer as losers.jpeg.)
This is the result of Eva's photo shoot
Now I am going to have to buy some god damned crisp apple water so I can support my favourite flavourite EVA! She is kind of crisp apple-esque! If Dakota had won it would have had to be "fucking crazy!" flavour and Holly would have advertised "stinkface fruits".
ANYWAY
Lara gets a care package from her grandad! That is so sweet! I love Grandads. This is good but makes Nellie very sad and cry. She is homesick and says she wants to leave! MAYBE SHE WILL LEAVE TODAY??!!??!??!?!??!
They get some Sara mail and end up in some derelict warehouse where Colin OHMYGODMYFACIALHAIRISREVOLTING- Mathura-Jefferee is blathering on about herbal essences with some brand manager. Something about flyaways and stuff. I hear almost nothing of what she says because his disgusting hairy lip is haunting the scene like some excess leg hair left behind when Sara last waxed. God it's yuck.
The girls have to go out and make women like the product which, according to the brand manager "may be suitable for women aged 14-29 who may be looking for ways to control their frizz". That is a lot of "maybes".
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? More potential for CRAZY Dakota and unlikeable Holly! Time for Eva to shine (I hope) poor Danielle though, she's not really cut out for this kind of thing? The twins should be okay if they are allowed to talk about that half male/half female cat they have at home and Amelia has met rugby players before so she can basically handle anything.
Lara acts a bit weird but that's kind of okay....but shit gets serious down at Amelia central where, after being rejected by some people who are practicing their "sorry! busy!" walks thinking she is trying to sign them up to greenpeace or potentially ask them for their small change, gets some racial slurs yelled at her!
!Some people are suck dicks!YOU SUCK RACIST STREET STRANGER DICK!
Then Amelia gets all upset and has to leave. Boo racism. I am mad.
Anyway, Elza is amazing because she has her heels on and Colin says he doesn't think she even realizes "what an amazing creature she is". She is a giant, also he says.
Dakota sucks again. She is so affected and bizarre! "HELLO DARLING! HELLO SWEETHEART! OH HELLO BABE". Gah. She is hard work to even watch. Colin says she is "offensive in so many ways". She is all "god, does everyone around here have ugly hair? this is harder than trying to sell crack". I believe her.
She is so charming! "Jeez woman your hair looks like a cat's arse, I thought you would want it to be better".
Holly does well. :(
Eva is "an epic fail!". God damn it. Look how the tables have turned! I don't like this one bit! My team is losing and my rival team is triumphing! FUCK THIS
I think Holly is going to win the prize! lasdkfkalsdfjads;lfjsdkfj I DO NOT WANT THIS
And the winner is....
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
This tastes very bitter.
Maybe I am being too harsh on her? Am I?
Danielle has a tragedy and one of her friends dies. :( That is horrible. I have nothing to say about this other than that is horrible and sad.
The next day they go to a photo shoot thingee for the "smoking, not our future" campaign and get interviewed by some guy from elemeno p.
Eva cries because her dad smokes and I love her.
Danielle is bad but she is upset so that is understandable I think.
Dakota is insane as usual. She says in her argument "If they are going to make tobacco illegal can they at least give us THC" and elemeno p guy is like "marijuana?" and she's all "yup!" . He says "um..that's not really the kind of angle we would come from....".
Nellie is kind of bad again and she talks about wanting to go home again...I think they are trying to get us ready for a Nellimination!
Something happens between Dakota and Holly? Holly is lying in bed crying hysterically and Dakota is hanging out in the spa looking like this
From what I can piece together Holly didn't like Dakota interrupting her or coming in on her conversation? Dakota, somewhat hilariously says "I'm sorry Miss Queen of the patio, I didn't realise this whole mansion was yours!" As crazy as Dakota is she can be pretty funny and also Holly is pretty irrational and self-absorbed so I do buy this side of the story.
ANYWAY
ELIMINATION/PANEL TIME
Eva: Her quote on the smoking thing was "It's not appealing. It just doesn't look good" And basically they agreed. They didn't like her photo and she cried again. My poor beauty!
Holly: Kate Slyvester, guest judge says "In this photo I feel like I am looking at a 35 year old woman" YOU SAID IT KATE SLYVESTER!
Danielle: Bad impression, great shot.
Lauren: Her hair makes her strong?
Nellie: So-so.
Michaela: AWESOME!
Amelia: Funny stance/looks wide
Elza: FANTASTIC!
Courteney: Easy to direct.
Lara: Nice personality! Fun to shoot! (photos of)
Dakota: Is inappropriate. Needs to "keep her trap shut". No kidding!
Bottom two prediction? Dakota and Nellie? Eva? (NOT EVA PLEASE NOT EVA!)
Phew! Eva gets through to the next week! AND she says "I just want to say, I didn't mean to make out that my dad is a bad role model because he smokes...he smokes and he is a great dad..." and then she cries and I love her even more.
OH HO! Bottom two= Nellie and Amelia!
AND ELIMINATED IS.....Amelia!
That was kind of a shock actually!
But it's not really that exciting. This episode has been kind of a failure.
NEXT WEEK THOUGH! They are getting all measured by people! Some of them are going to be called fat! (what is wrong with the world!?!??) and also Dakota and Holly have a fight about dishes! Holly is a control freak and Dakota is a freak freak. Sparks will fly! I hope it is 100 times better than this week. Do you think the twins will have the exact same measurements? I wonder what Holly can do about looking 35 years old?
My head hurts. This has been taxing.
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