Episode 3: Promotional promises of "drive bys" were sadly misleading

Another week has passed and we are moving inexorably towards our demises. But there are models to watch and people for me to hate so let's do this!

Remember last week how Estelle was kicked out? Yeah, well Michaela is pretty bummed about her leaving and she cries. She is pretty beautiful I think?
Jamie is all upset about being in the bottom two and she is all "argh! I only have myself to blame if I do another bad photo and get kicked out and all my dreams shattered!". Nellie's (or maybe Elza's?) response to this is thus:



LOL!

Being a top model potential looks pretty glamorous, their surroundings are luxurious, take this for example:



They have ANTS! That's pretty gross ladies.

Apparently Lara is annoying? I think the producers of the show couldn't find any good evidence of this annoyingness so they settled upon a clip of her asking Nellie (or Elza?) "how did you get superglue on your hands?" which, to be fair, is not a terribly stupid question?

The superglue question wasn't answered though because "SARA MAIL" arrived! And the Sara mail is pretty shit really. It really looks like something the actual Sara may have made at home out of paper mache and stick on $2 shop diamantes. Just look at it! Someone's job is to make that!



Anyway, they get told not let the grass grow under their feet? or something? and they are off to a dance studio!!!! YAAAAAAYY!!!! DANCING IS GREAT!!!!

Nellie says "oh crikey! I am a terrible dancer"

DOUBLE YAY!!!!!!

That guy from the Wellington water whirler thing who was sashaying in high heels is there and he is going to force them into dancing all the beats of the globe! God this is exciting!!!!!

This is how well the dancing went:
Please note: This is meant to be a CHOREOGRAPHED dance! they SHOULD be doing THE SAME THING



And more!



That is Dakota there in the foreground. Pretty much the only kind of dancing I want to watch?

It made Lara go like this:



"hmmmm"


They are digging for dirt on Amelia and her frame. She likes it, she thinks she is HOT! then she says "I've got a boyfriend, that proves it HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHHHA" with a cackle. GO FEMINISM!

Holly is still being as alluring as ever



And the end result of this is that they are going somewhere on a bus! AND BOY DOES IT LOOK LIKE A FUN ROAD TRIP



Anyway, after a few hours they are in Rotorua and they are to go zoorbing! BUT they have to model while in the zoorb? This is a bit wishy washy BUT LOOK AT EVA! Doesn't she look like an adorable wartime sweetheart or something? I want to marry her in this getup!



They were meant to make "dynamic shapes" while rolling around the Rotorua paddocks and this was Jamie's dynamic pose



You can't deny it has something.

Nellie, meanwhile, got stuck in the opening of the zoorb and couldn't get out. I think I love her.

Danielle is all inspirational "Back home you have three options, 1) go on the dole, 2) get pregnant or 3) get out and do something with your life. I have taken the third option". AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Anyway, Courtney wins the challenge and takes Eva to get her day spa treatment. All the other girls are jealous, especially Holly.

They get new Sara mail! They are going to get "down and dirty!"

Of course, the previous foreboding of "fat amelia" returns with Chris Sisarich telling her she needs to work on her body. And he is right, look how fat she is



Danielle likes getting compliments because she was bullied as a kid, Holly thinks she is in bad shape and cries, Michaela "is a christian" but it's going to stop her from modelling in the mud because she has "confidence in the lord".

Holly thinks Lara is going home "because she's got fat thighs".



What. A. Bitch.

Lara thinks it will be okay if she gets eliminated now because then at least "you are one of top 13 most prettiest people in New Zealand". Argh.

Dakota wants to grab a nine millimeter and just go "BOOM!DIE" to Lara. I think she probably does have a nine millimeter.Maybe under her pillow. Just look at those crazy eyes!



Anyway, its elimination time!

Holly= takes too much direction
Elza= HOT HOT HOT "You have proved to me you are more than a twin and long red hair"
Aafreen= Good posing, must learn to have fun
Jamie= comedy music and clearly failing to understand basic words. Possibly a bit thick.



The face of someone who doesn't know what "anaemic" means



Or the word "dynamic"

They like Lara which makes the other girls go like this



and this



At this point I am predicting Jamie and Dakota for the bottom two

AD BREAK!

And I don't want to toot my own horn here but my prediction came true! A skill honed from far too many years of Top Model. Probably could have put that time to better use...

Look at Sara's face though!




And because Sara doesn't want Dakota to go make some "adult entertainment" she stays. Jamie is sent packing.

BUT NEXT WEEK GUESS WHAT?!?? IT'S MAKEOVER TIME!!! Lauren doesn't want to cut her hair! Dakota is very uncouth in public! She tells strangers she isn't wearing a bra! Girls cry about hairdos! I CAN'T WAIIIIT!

I am going to go with a twin getting their hair cut really short, Aafreen getting not much done really, courtney = big change and dye, lara = dye dark, amelia = shorter?, dakota = short short? holly= fringe and platinum? OH I CAN'T WAIT IT BETTER BE DRAMATIC AND FULL OF TEARS