Size 18 Estelle
Smug Estelle
Since models do high fashion and shit we are off, naturally, to Glassons. There we meet some buyer woman, Colin "Killmenow" Mathura-Jeffree and some model who is introduced ambiguously as "a lover of Glassons". My dirty mind makes me think exciting things but of course this is not the route this show is taking and instead the model woman rambles on stiltedly about the wonder that is Glassons. Isn't it weird that Glassons have been making the same polar fleece top for the last 10 years? Every time I go in there there are like 500 of these things and I guess there must be a market for them?
They are getting tested on their sense of style so they have to pick an outfit for each other in pairs. Once I remember doing this with my friend Briar but it wasn't to look good. This would have been a much more exciting challenge if it had resulted in our picks- horrific $10 ball dresses from some terrible knock off store in South City with faux-fur jackets and taslon zip up pants.
Nellie truly is turning into one of my favourites. She really enjoyed the challenge even though she knew she was going to suck "I was with Amelia (my OTHER favourite!) and its hard not to have fun with her, we had SO much fun! I jabbed her in the eye with sunglasses!"
So much fun.
Nellie told everyone "I knew my outfit was really trashy and disgusting" which caused Colin to have a mini fit about trash talking the "client" right in front of them (as opposed to behind their backs obviously) "That is the KISS OF DEATH in the industry"! Poor Nellie! It's like she is Jim Carrey in Liar Liar.
Anyway, they all looked GREAT and really unique
But in the end Courteney/Elza won. Like you care though right?
So it looks like this Holly (who shouldn't even BE in the finals given that she was extra number 14) is a bit of a bitch. She is all "there is a VERY obvious age gap" while making a stink face and looking like someone who should be standing on your foot and whispering nasty things to you during a game of netball at high school.
Then she starts making the gossip by digging for dirt with some of the others "Oh is there someone here who is starting to get on your nerves?" YES YOU HOLLY YOU BITCH!
Oh man! My favourite Amelia is making 16 year old Lauren cry because she left the oven on by mistake! "HELLO! I am NOT your mother! Your mother doesn't live here!". Well! I will no longer be supporting you Amelia! You have just lost your one and possibly only fan!
It turns out that Amelia, while being a big meanie, is also, according to Colin "a hoochie". She poses like a stripper or something so that usually means that she probably won't make it much further. I am giving her two weeks tops. Oh, by the way, they are posing on a wire thingee 7 metres off the ground. I don't know why either.
Danielle is pretty awesome. Colin tries to tell her to "get physical" with her poses so instead she busts out the obvious "LET'S GET PHYSICAL, PHYSICAL!" song and then proclaims "I like the heights but not the posing. I guess that's what this show is about though....posing" while looking thoroughly dejected. :(
NZ's next top model? I certainly hope so!
Colin tells Lara to "think murder with your eyes" which I guess is good advice?
Okay I think Colin might actually be evil though. Estelle is terrified of heights and was shaking and singing to herself to stop herself passing out so what does Colin do? Shakes the rope bridge!
Anyway, so nothing really happens, Colin "CulpableManslaughter" Mathura-Jeffree is all sassy and "get out of my sight!", people act like bitches, no one else likes Amelia either now so I guess that's something me and these ladies have in common? Anyway, ELIMINATION TIME and they like Elza and Dakota but Colin gives Nellie a big telling off and makes her cry about the whole telling the truth to Glassons thing and its pretty cute because twin Elza cries along with her! Twin-connection!
They think Courteney isn't confident, Michaela has beautiful eyes, Aafreen is good because she could be "thai, malaysian etc" and its pretty racist because while she is being judged Bollywood music plays. Lara is too trained (in ballet not in being completely forgettable), Amelia is a disappointment, Jamie looks too bored, Estelle was "the shocker of the day", Eva is, conversely, "shot of the day". They tell Lauren she has a good photo then tell her off for not knowing it was a good photo, Holly comes across as a stone cold bitch and needs to "warm up" her face, Danielle doesn't really want to be there but Sara is intent on keeping her around and making her into a model so that's something I guess?
Oh, they kick Estelle out. She says "its a bit guttering".
This episode sucked. Too much Glassons' placement and waaaaaaaaaaaay too much Holly making her bitch face at me.
I am looking forward to the makeover episode where they give one of those twins a buzzcut and cut Eva's hair. I think she is the one to watch so she should be receiving a hot new do to propel her out of mediocrity and straight to the top!
All in all this episode get 3 bitches/10. Not good. Not good at all.
Next week though the narrator tells us that we could be witnessing a drive by! Dakota says she wants to get out her 9mm and kill someone! PLEASE BE AMELIA AND/OR HOLLY!
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